Speaking of newspapers

Meredith survived the latest round of cuts at McClatchy and the bleeding seems to have stopped for the time being. Of course those who survived feel horrible about all the friends they've lost and now get to work with a permanent ax over their heads.

Here's the latest good news on newspapers, from AP:

"Half a dozen newspapers said they would slash payrolls, one said it would outsource all its printing, and Tribune Co., one of the biggest publishers in the country, said it might sell its iconic headquarters tower in Chicago and the building that houses the Los Angeles Times.

The increasingly rapid and broad decline in the newspaper business in recent months has surprised even the most pessimistic financial analysts, many of whom say it's too hard to tell how far the slump will go.

A few months back, when San Angelo's Perry Flippin went out with a cannon shot at the industry, I reacted kinda strongly in some instances, but I realized that I never made a point.

Here it is -- The newspaper industry is doomed because:

1. Newsroom executives (they used to be called editors) have grown increasingly elitist and separated from their readers.
2. The heads of corporate newspaper chains have grown increasingly elitist and separated from everyone.
3. Neither of these things matters because it's impossible to compete with the technology that everyone under 85 knows how to use. And the people who use that technology can, and usually do, find about 1,000 distractions before they decide to check out whatever happened with that Eritrea thing.

All that being said, I don't think that the local news will just go up in smoke. We'll have some kind of news service in the future. It's vigor and health remains to be seen.

Otherwise, me and the wife will continue to watch the state of the industry with an eye on a lifeboat.

From the aforementioned report:

In fact, the industry group that compiles and releases ad revenue figures, the Newspaper Association of America, this month stopped putting out quarterly press releases with the numbers, though it quietly updated them on its Web site.

NAA spokeswoman Sheila Owens said in an e-mailed statement that the organization will now put out press releases only with full-year data "to keep the market focused on the longer-term industry transition from print to a multiplatform medium."

Translation: "Turn out the lights, the party's over ..."

Edumacation

First off, as soon as I let people know I'm going to get a teacher's certification, a few things pop up in the news.

My Mom-in-law told me about a story in the Dallas Morning News. There's a fight brewing between the alternative certification schools and the traditional colleges. The first story I read mentioned that (gasp) your child's teacher may not have had more than a C-average in college and may have never stepped into a classroom until this year started.

And this is different from what might happen with a teacher from a traditional college how? Anyway, the traditional colleges are lobbying the state to pass new rules to make it more difficult to certify teachers, inner city and rural schools are planning to fight it, blah blah blah.

Here's the latest story, seems that colleges made the state do an audit.

It's just your usual turf battle and has nothing to do with providing a better education.

Todd also sent me this story on the shortage of math teachers, and noted that I seemed to be going for "low hanging fruit."

While saying "duh", I'd also add that I picked math because I enjoy it, and going that course will give me a lot more options as to where I can teach and a tad bit more money.

James Snipe mountain lion, for real

This thing has been a lot of fun. I've watched the hoax move from West Texas to East Texas to Alabama to North Carolina, getting hits and comments along the way. This site hasn't seen this much traffic since I wrote a few comments and posted a few pictures of that bikini model/anchorwoman for that reality show in Tyler.

I wonder what happened with her? Eh, too bored to Google.

Anyway, I first got a note that the mountain lion thing was for real about a week ago, followed by more notes and a comment. You'll have to excuse my laziness for not getting around until now to posting the truth, but, at the time, remembering that the actuarial amount is equal to the principal times e to the rate(time) exponential seemed more important.

I was directed to Snopes.com, where I found this:

The large mountain lion shown in the photographs ... was hit by a Ford F350 truck on Highway 64 in Northern Arizona ... in November of 2007.

So the pictures are real, it's just the story that was altered as it moved around. After looking at the different versions, I think we can all blame the cheeseheads.

My wife, writer

The Star-Telegram just published a little "traveling with your baby" guide put together by my wife.

It was kind of interesting seeing the backstory behind this publication: First my wife pitched the story, and was recieved with total indifference. Then she did the story on her own in hopes of putting it on a blog. Then they said, well, sure, we'll run it. Then they asked her to do more stories. Etc.

Anyone's who has ever worked for a newspaper is either rolling their eyes or nodding their head at this point.

Two other things:

• The process described above took two months, so Sam is no longer 7 months old as indicated.
• And, Meredith gave the staff a perfectly decent picture of Sam sitting in his car seat surrounded by luggage. Instead, the staff used a picture of a baby sitting in front of fabric blocks who otherwise doesn't seem to be traveling, and an illustration of a family in a car, with the baby in the middle of mom and dad and inches away from an open cup of hot coffee. I'm rolling my eyes again.

Anyway, congrats darlin'.

Happy Monday

Though this week starts with a note of frustration, as father's day came and went before I knew about this:

MANGROOMER Do-It-Yourself Electric Back Hair Shaver

Please notice that the ad says the product, which was going for $39.99, is now on sale for $39.95. You save four cents. That's like 1/25th of a double cheeseburger at McDonald's.

First seen at Instapundit.

Star Wars movie crawls

Here's a site that let's you create your own.

My first combines Star Wars with the Simpsons, something else I used to enjoy before it turned bad.

Huh, it's apparently been shut down. And I had about 20 things I was gonna do with this. Damn you Lucus!

Notes, A:

Saw a cool thing on the way to classes yesterday.

I was on loop 820 in an early morning rain when the sky turned into a brilliant white color. Lightning struck a powerline on a tall steel transformer about 100-200 yards away from me. Closest I've ever been to a lightning strike. Coolest thing I've seen in a while.

There was no loud boom, but that might have been a sensory overload -- it was too bright to hear.

Anyway, it was part of a damaging day out here. The power was out at TCC by the time I got there. After spending half an hour in a darkened room with my statistics classmates, school was called off.

It was a wierd half-hour -- the lack of light forces a certain kind of intimacy on the situation. Usually the only people you see in that light are people you've slept in the same room with.

Faces of football:
ESPN has an interesting bit up on college football: "The face of the program." They're naming whatever player, coach, mascot, or whatever "you" most closely associate with every major college team in the country.

Texas Tech's is the Masked Rider. It's the dude who gallops onto the field, leading the football team, at the start of each game. (UTEP's was the Sun Bowl.)

Every Tech fan loves the masked rider, but I'm calling this a whiff -- anyone who's heard of Texas Tech football has heard about coach Mike Leach, his offense, his strange ways.

Coke now

Here's a map that shows regional preferences for what people call their soft drinks, as in "coke", "soda", "pop" or other.

My two reactions:

One of the 50 or so people in Loving County, Texas, managed to vote, putting them slightly into the "coke" category.

"Other"? What "other"? People use something besides the top three? What? "I'd like a new fangled dark ginger ale, please." "Bring some of that canned brown bubbly."

Apparently there are some large swaths of Arizona with something funny going on.

McClatchy's Black Monday

Folks:

For those of you who know our situation. Meredith works at the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. The Star-Telegram is owned by McClatchy.

Today (Monday), McClatchy went forward with a decision to cut a little over 10 percent of its newspaper workforce, companywide.

Word broke last night, and despite the occasional fretting, Meredith has been holding up well.

The Star-Telegram is cutting 50 people from its newsroom. Without getting into too much detail, Meredith survived with her job today, but we're not out of the woods yet.

The thing is, we'll be OK regardless of what happens, but this is a damn inconvenient thing for anyone to deal with.

Will keep you posted.

Another month, another West Texas cult makes the news

House of Yahweh head says world to end June 12. Well, as I'm posting this, he still has four hours to be right.

The video is a pretty good look at a freak show.



As stated, the cult is headquartered in Abilene, which I guess means that San Angelo doesn't get all the bragging rights. I don't recall many run-ins with the people who belong to this group while I was in Abilene.

Mainly I vaguely remember a news story about one of the cult members who got got cheesed when he was cited for a code violation or something by the city, so he sued. And demanded damages in the hundreds of millions.

I've always figured that West Texas draws these folks for an obvious reason -- there's plenty of room, and crazy typically needs a lot of room.

Anyone up for a beer?

Mom and son are visiting family until Wednesday, and as this is the first time I've been home alone in 9 months, it'd be nice to get out.

It'd be good if you're from the Metroplex, and happen to belong to the small group of people I know. I tend not to like people I don't know.

Also: No strippers, prostitutes, or various loose women from Oklahoma.

Drop me an e-mail if you can do it.

Messed up headlines

After 300 years or so of newspaper publishing in North America, I doubt that anyone can put together a list of 20 most funny.

Still, a lot of these are pretty good.

It's kind of a list of Jay Leno's best stuff.

Sam, evil cat

Sam and the Evil Cat were playing around this morning. I wanted to get some pictures of a funny moment, but, as usual, they were both distracted when I took off and came back into the room and started pointing at them with this thing that beeps and flashes.

So here's a few shots for Grandma.

I just got back from my first two weeks of classes ...

And boy is my brain tired.

In one of the first algebra sessions, my prof was talking about math anxiety, and how some people hated math so much that they spent their entire college careers avoiding it until it's the last thing they need to graduate.

"That's four years without thinking about math," she said. "That only makes it harder."

It hit me afterwards that I hadn't seriously thought about math since before some of my classmates were born.

Here's how the night went before my first test:

Tuesday:

Noon: Get home from Tarrant County College. Pledge to spend all remaining free time reviewing for test, after I get a nap.

3 p.m.: Realize I can't sleep. Pledge to study from 9 p.m. (Sam's bedtime) to Midnight.

9 p.m.: Exhausted after not being able to nap. Prospect of going through two chapters of algebra too daunting. Pledge to get up at 4 a.m. the following morning to study.

11:45 p.m.: Nerves finally chill to point of allowing me to sleep.

First dream of night: I'm in a deserted British police station after dark. A mob is headed to the station, planning to break in and open the gun locker.

Wednesday

1 a.m.: Wife home, wakes me momentarily when she crawls into bed and tells me that she believes in me and "you can do it" for the sixth time in the last 24 hours.

Second dream: x2= (x-h)(x+k)/x+2 = A heavy dog shedding season.

3 a.m.: Wake up, realize that my combination of tossing, turning and snoring has driven wife to the guest bedroom. Hmmm ... Maybe I'll just get up at 5 a.m.

Third dream: I'm in a hotel past checkout time and I don't have the money for the bill. It's been an enjoyable stay, though.

5 a.m.: Wakey-Wakey. I take a very groggy, yet quietly desperate, review of quadratic and polynomial functions.

Not sure I can keep doing that for the next two years.

I made an A. Allowed myself a Tiger Woods fist pump.

Next test: Monday.

The strangest thought to hit me about the whole thing lately is how easy it is to get back into student mode. After a couple of days, you block out the fact that you're older than most everyone there and can't translate half of what they're saying to each other. You realize that 16 (or maybe 18.5) years of sitting in classrooms when you're young gives you a set of skills that aren't going to go away.

James Snipe's mountain lion repost

Update: Apparently, it's not a complete hoax.

Update III: Hello Illinois. (Following Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina and East Texas.)

(Yes, East Texas is a separate state, Thankyouverymuch.)

This has gotten a lot of hits.

Look at what James Snipe hit with his car on county road 328 north of Swenson, Texas in Stonewall County. The lion was still alive [Editor's note: Daaawwwww!] but unable to move, so our neighbor called animal control and they came and put him down. A land owner had seen this one a week before dragging off a 320 lb. steer. Our neighbor is an amateur taxidermist and he's going to stuff him. This one weighed 260 lbs. while most mature male mountain lions weigh 80 to 150 lbs. We had no idea they still roamed around here!

Still don't know if this is for real. "Snipe" is a name I've seen before, but it makes me pause.

Update: Abilene Reporter-News is calling it a hoax.

Summer begins, and it's back to work

I can only imagine how weird it's going to feel Tuesday morning. I start classes at TCC. I don't feel any real excitement, just a vague unease about sticking out with my 36-year-old self and having to plow my way through information I learned in high school and then again during the first stint in college.

But maybe I'm freaking out on the subconsicous level: I've already had two dreams about having a final the next day in a class I didn't know I was in. More of those to come.

Me and Meredith spent the weekend taking it easy, wishing we could've done more about Memorial Day. We "celebrated" on Sunday by taking a trip to Central Market, and discussed on the way back how boring we've become, thinking a trip to Central Market counts as a celebration.

I picked up some expensive hot dogs, beer and some kind of birch-based soda pop. Meredith picked up some things, including the wine pictured above, which she bought primarily because of the name.

This is going to be a pretty rough summer. Eight months after Sam came along, we had finally developed a schedule that allowed both of us to get as much sleep as we needed. Now, with my entire morning taken up with school, normal sleeping times have pretty much been shot through.

But it's not so bad. Last night I watched "The Pursuit of Happyness", which is good motivation. After watching what that guy went through, my problems don't add up to jack.

Sam, who I'll be seeing a lot less of from now on. I'll miss the boy, but it's all so that we can eventually spend more time together as a family.

Needing a barber

I've been searching for a decent place to get a haircut since I moved to Fort Worth two years ago. And I finally found a spot a couple of weeks back, kinda.

I've been spoiled with good barbers. One of my earliest memories is going to Howard's when I was 4 or 5. The shop was right across the street from the Texas Tech campus. I remember watching an old cowboy -- boots, skinny legs, vest, handlebar mustache -- sit down for a shave. It seemed like a horrible waste of whipped cream.

Abilene had several good shops -- one a couple of blocks from my house. How do you know you're in an authentic barber shop?

• A shoe-shine stand that you’ve never patronized.


• A rack of hair products on sale that no one has used since 1967.


• They know how to finish a high-and-tight.

The high-and-tight is simple, but it has to be finished out with a straight-razor trim. South 14th Barbers in Abilene would also add a quick rubdown using a hand-vibrator on your neck and shoulders.

After such treatment (For $8!), you'd feel much better about taking on the world, and no one would ever mistake you for a hippie.

In Fort Worth, there are no olde time barbershops close to my house. I've been visiting a Great Clips in a strip mall a couple of blocks away. I have no problem with the cuts. But the service?

The haircuts are priced in a fast-food type menu above the front counter. The barber chairs are separated by pastel-colored sails, and let's not kid ourselves that anyone ever spent five seconds thinking about putting in a shoeshine stand.

Every damn time I come into the store, I'm asked for my phone number, so that they can call up my file and ask me if I still want a "two on the sides with a trim on the top."

Because you can't just ask me and I can't just relay the information to you in an exchange that lasts maybe four seconds on a slow day. You've got to bother me with my phone number and build a million-dollar computer network to let everyone within the Great Clips community know that I prefer a "two on the sides with a trim on the top" -- and still never remember that it's tapered in the back, not blocked. Freakin' brilliant.

Anyway, after tiring of this, I finally got online, started looking and found an "Old Time Barber Shop" (actual name) within a reasonable driving distance.

Great place. Shoeshine stand, wooden furnishings, free sodas and mostly bald barbers. I was given a complete high-and-tight that was finished off with a hot-towel rubdown on my neck.

The only problem was the price: $20, including tip. I realize that, considering the shop is in a prime real estate area in Keller, they have to charge that to make ends meet. Still, I can't but feel slightly chafed.

It's a definition of the suburban experience: I'm not paying for a trip to an olde time barbershop, I'm actually buying the experience of going to a place like an olde time barbershop.

I dunno. I'll keep looking, but so far they have a new customer.

Registered

I'm officially enrolled, summer session I at Tarrant County College. Here comes algebra.

The wierdest thing about the process was that it was all online, which is something I'd heard of, but never went through. It's too easy -- you go to the site, click a few boxes and you're done. It left me a little edgy.

It's the same difficulty with technology that my Dad shows when he calls the refrigerator the "icebox" or refuses all entreaties to get a new answering machine.

I have no problem with using the Internet to buy junk. Using it to schedule a couple of six-week courses that will go onto my permanent academic record seems too ephemeral.

At North Texas, circa early- to mid-1990s, we had "teleregistration." Teleregistration consisted of calling a computer and dialing in the class you wanted to take. The computer would then either tell you that the class was full, or that you were now enrolled in "Feminist iconography of 18th century artistic and philosophical movements" when you were trying to get into miniature golf.

Teleregistration required a certain amount of quick decision-making, flexibility and organization. By the time you hung up the phone, you hadn't just signed up for classes, you had accomplished something, by God.

Photo from Todd.

That's me during my sophomore year, with a 32-inch waistline, a glorious mane of blonde hair that could be seen from the front, and my lucky teleregistration hat. Laugh if you will -- that hat got me into a lot of in-demand classes. I lost it a long time ago, the last bits of it of probably have dissolved on the bottom of the Brazos river by now, but that's another story.*

Notes: The Hico Steak Cookoff
The latest: The event was ... apparently last weekend. People keep dropping by this site after plugging in the search words, and I don't have any news to give or any links to follow, as the town has yet to post this year's winners on the Web.

I can say that my parents went and had their usual good time, tho it seems that the lady who brings the fried pies did not attend this year, a no-show that gave us all the blues.

Update: The FLDS thing
I recently read a story reporting that the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints compound near Eldorado was showing a decreased amount of activity, and that the "lush green lawn around the temple was now brown." Just thought y'all might like to know.

Maybe lawn destruction could be the linchpin to defeating the cult. We just send in covert gardeners with Roundup and the people flee in terror of God's wrath.

Animals in the e-mail
My wife sent me a note that contained only this budget line for an AP story from my hometown:

LUBBOCK — Turns out there was no need for window dressing after all. The confused wild turkey that smashed into a window at the Lubbock county courthouse Monday was laid out for a while, but eventually was able to fly away. AP Photo.

I'm sure that there would have been a need for window dressing, but an argument about whether or not it was still bow huntin' season got everyone distracted.

And Scott forwarded this bit from the town of Swenson (out in the middle of nowhere northwest of Abilene, and I've been there):


Another shot showed the dead cat, which I don't really want to see every time I come back here. Anyway, from the e-mail:

Look at what James Snipe hit with his car on county road 328 north of Swenson, Texas in Stonewall County. The lion was still alive [Editor's note: Daaawwwww!] but unable to move, so our neighbor called animal control and they came and put him down. A land owner had seen this one a week before dragging off a 320 lb. steer. Our neighbor is an amateur taxidermist and he's going to stuff him. This one weighed 260 lbs. while most mature male mountain lions weigh 80 to 150 lbs. We had no idea they still roamed around here!

The freakin' cat weighed 260 pounds? Dang. Maybe he was stalking the car.

Of course, the whole thing could be a fake. Not that it'd actually matter if it was.

Updated: It's real, sorta.

Later.

*The story: I was on a canoe trip on the Brazos, and the wind blew the hat off my head. I got sunburned, bad. No, it's not much of a story. Thanks.

The Force never looked so beautiful

And I'm pining for an XBox 360 like dead parrots pine for the fjords.

Notes: Evil Cat, cartoon brutality, life-changing decisions, etc.

So.

The original plan was to let people know once classes started, but since it’s the main thing on my mind nowadays I’ll go ahead and announce it.

This summer, I’ll start taking college classes to begin the process of getting certified to teach middle school math. It’ll be about two years. To qualify, I first have to take a lot of catch-up courses, and right now I’m in the middle of the usual last-minute application rush I’ve always enjoyed so well.

I’m not going to pretend that I’ve had a deep voice chanting "Teach the children, give them a compass" in the back of my head since I can remember. I’m planning on teaching middle school math because I figure I can handle the age group, and the scarcity of math teachers will give me better salary options and a better chance to work where I want to. I don’t love numbers. I like numbers. I flirted with numbers in college and thought the usual journalistic fear of numbers was stupid.

Everybody wants to spend their lives doing what they love to do. I’d love to do that, whatever it is. On the other hand, doing what you love can also make you suffer. My Dad made a career out of doing what he loved, and I saw it break his heart on a bi-annual basis.

My last three jobs were a lot of fun: Old-folks home attendant, pizza maker, assistant sports editor. They all had something about them to enjoy, and I wasn’t in some personal drama over whether or not this was the lifelong decision that would complete me as a person. It’s a job. Lighten up.

Baby tips
VMarks sent me this link to "baby tips" which includes some of the following advice.

Some of the humor there is pretty sick. It’s weird, how I’d have thought all of it was hilarious before Sam was born. Now, I still laugh at it, but a part of me cringes to see someone doing something awful to an infant, even in cartoon form. Being a parent makes you edgy.

The evil cat attacks the environment
Both outside and inside: First she eats the zinnias, then she vomits on the floor.

(Second Picture not included)

Even though the results don’t look like the flowers, come to think of it.