There's gold in them thar trees

Shopping at Kroger, noticed the price of pecans:

$8 for 16 ozs.

I'm going to retire to Hico and pick the pecan trees for the rest of my life.

Once again -- So long, sukas.

Axl Rose: A tool who could be a Pepper, too

Huh ...

"Many have tried, but so far nobody has been able to pry the decade-in-the-works Guns N' Roses album "Chinese Democracy" from the hands of lone remaining original member Axl Rose.

"Now, Dr Pepper thinks it's up to the challenge. The soft drink company says it will give a free can of Dr Pepper to "everyone in America" (excluding ex-GNR members Slash and Buckethead) if "Chinese Democracy" arrives anytime during the calendar year 2008."

FromBillboard.com

I mainly remember Guns N' Roses for "Welcome to the Jungle", the prefered song to play in the Monterey locker room before football games in the late '80s. We'd listen to the anarchic tempos and Slash's building riffs, and then we'd go out and lose. Again.

It serves as proof that there is no music out there that makes you tougher. We could have just spent the time listening to the B-52's "Roam". Would've been in a better mood when Coach Brown spent half an hour at midfield after the game telling us how we sucked. Again.

It's the water. And maybe the meth.

I'm happy to defend Lubbock, but sometimes you just got to take the bad with the good:

LUBBOCK (AP) -- If you're looking for cavity-free pearly whites, search anywhere but Lubbock. A new study in next month's Men's Health magazine says this West Texas city has the worst teeth of the 100 large U.S. cities examined. El Paso (No. 95), San Antonio (89) and Dallas (87) weren't far ahead. The magazine said the best teeth could be found in Madison, Wis.; Nashville, Tenn.; and Raleigh, N.C.

Lubbock lives mainly on well water, which has more salt and flouride than lake water. Too much flouride will stain your teeth (but still protect against cavities). That, and I've met plenty of people from the area who see the British as a shining example of dentistry.

Hat tip: Scott

Easter vacation

Finally.

I haven't spent any significant time in Lubbock for four years. So, after giving my wife a serious guilt trip when we couldn't make it back for Christmas, I wrangled a promise that we'd go to my hometown for Easter.

That's what we've been doing for the last five days. I don't like to maintain radio silence here for so long. I wanted to blog in Lubbock, but Mom's computer decided to die -- and to not get into te Easter spirit and come back.

Anyway. No real stories to tell. It was a family vacation with no disasters. I noticed that I started off taking a lot of pictures, and then got bored. So, here's a few shots of the Lubbock trip.

Seymour road and buildings and plant life.

We stayed off the Interstates for the trip and took Route 114 instead, one of the great West Texas roads. Great because you go through Seymour, which has a Subway.

And great because you drive by some legendary Texas ranches. Route 114 goes through Guthrie, which is basically the town of the Four 6's ranch.

This week's saddle soap: Wildflower jubilee!

We stopped in Guthrie for a Coke and Feed Sam break. The town has one service station, est. 1939. I got a big kick out of a recent expansion project, which added some room in the back, plywood serving as the walls.

Meredith noticed they used whiskey and coke bottles and coffee cans to fill in the gaps on the rock wall.

Sam cried about the last hour of the trip. We got in about 4:30 and spent the rest of the day talking to my brothers and sister and letting Sam play with everyone.

The trip did a world of good for Sam. Being around all those people seemed to switch on a light for him and his personality bubbled up.

Prairie Dog Town

No one can say they've experienced Lubbock without a visit to Prairie Dog Town. It's our version on whatever cheesy thing every one else takes everyone to see when they have visitors. While we were there, an Indian (of India) family arrived -- one girl was dressed in full traditional Indian garb, and they proceeded to take many pictures of her with the prairie dogs.

Meredith and Sam, and vital history.
We saw some other stuff that day: The wineries, Texas Tech, but see above statement about taking pictures.

Baseball and George

The next day, Sam got to see his first Texas Tech sporting event. The Raiders of Red fell 3-4 after a pretty good effort against a Longhorn team that had many more grande hombres.

Sam with Grandad and mom.

And, for those who either worked at the Avalanche-Journal or lived in West Hall, yes, that's George Watson just above Meredith's head.

I keep forgetting that he has a beard and didn't recognize him until he got on the field for post-game interviews.

So we had a good trip. Kept reminding myself on the way home that we needed to do this again soon. Sometime. Within the foreseeable future. Who knows.

The broken-legged cat says goodbye.

The simple joys of launching cars into the air and shooting them

I know what to do when the Saturn finally gives out ...


http://view.break.com/175421 - Watch more free videos

Thanks to Tom.

Holy killer sting ray!

Killer sting ray!

"A woman from the Thumb was killed today when a large sting ray leaped from the water off the Florida Keys and struck her while she was with her family on a fishing boat."

I don't know. Condolences to the family, but I can think of many far less interesting ways to go, when it comes down to it.

*And I'd like to post more today, but this computer I'm on right now is so slow it took me 90 minutes just to do this.

Baby pictures pro quo

I'm happy to post the latest of Sam, so long as Mom manages to get hold of the baseball tickets.

Sam update: He's good.

More inclusive Sam update: He's been up on all fours for about two weeks now. He hasn't yet mastered the idea of moving-arms-and-legs-at-the-same-time, but he's getting there -- which we sort of dread because we're now in a race to child-proof the house. He's starting to eat solid foods and enjoys blowing bubbles, two abilities that don't mix well. Otherwise, if you've read any of the headlines from the area lately, you'll agree that me and Meredith qualify for Dallas/Fort Worth parents of the year.

Sam and a recently awakened Dad share a moment of togetherness
and a mutual attempt to avoid throwing up.

He's got the smiling part down pretty well.

He moves right now through a combination of rolling and getting up on all fours and then falling in the direction he wants to go. It's not terribly efficient, but it keeps him busy.

Memories of being 12 and awkward

This link allows you to play all Nintendo eight-bit games on your browser.

At least it's supposed to. My computer wouldn't make it go.

Itsnow

I filled the bird feeder this morning. The yard was full of birds, and the little peckers looked hungry. They definitely dug in.

And few hours later:

And still later:

This is the most I've seen it snow in the Metroplex since at least my college days. All I've wanted to do for the past six hours is nap.

Kansas City begins to bug

Oh Good Lord. In a post on barbecue regionalism that asks why can’t we all get along, I noticed this comment from a “Mike Drips”:

"I grew up in Kansas City, barbeque capital of the universe. It is truly sad to see so many people think and believe that they have eaten barbeque, when the truth is that if one has not eaten BBQ in Kansas City, then you're just kidding yourself if you think you have eaten BBQ. The only two BBQ restaurants in the greater Kansas City area that are true pure BBQ, are Gate and Bryant's. The latter is where President Truman went for BBQ. The other BBQ restaurants such as KC Masterpiece are adequate but more in line with standard dreadful restaurant BBQ that one can find anywhere. Granted, NC and TN have some claim to almost serving BBQ, but they don't reach the high standard of KC BBQ. Texans in their usual way, think that they too should be mentioned as a BBQ mecca while in fact, their BBQ is no better than what one would find in a Denny's restaurant in North Dakota."

Thing is, I’ve always wanted to go to North Carolina, Memphis, etc., to try the barbecue, which I’m sure would be great. I’d even enjoy it in KC, so long as I didn’t have to look at their women while eating. But it is senseless beyond the pale to denigrate what a Stubbs or a Harolds could do with brisket, ribs and sausage.

I’ve known three or four Kansas City people, and they are always ready to talk trash about how great the Chiefs are and how good the barbecue is. Well, we all know how good the Chiefs are ...

RiffTrax good

Oops: Hat tip to Rex 2.o, who pointed out the site a long time ago.

I keep telling the Mystery Science Theater 3000 fans I know about RiffTrax, then always forget to send them the link.

To describe it: The cast from MST3K -- Mike, Crow, Servo -- have reformed as a web service. You download a soundtrack to play along with the movie they’re making fun of.

Originally, the riff consisted only of audio, which would slowly go off track 4-5 times during the movie and you’d have to re-sync things. They’ve since improved their product and now have a DVD player you can download that will automatically sync-up to the movie soundtrack.

The great thing is that they no longer have to worry about copyright issues, so they can make fun of any movie out there. They've also had some guest riffers on, most recently Weird Al Yankovic.

So far I’ve watched Raiders of the Lost Ark, a couple of the Star Wars riffs, and Road House. All of them had me laughing until I wept. It’s worth a look for anyone who liked the old series on Comedy Central.

Anyway, I thought of posting this after they put some riffs of campaign commercials on YouTube. They're good, but the movie riffs have the most funny.

The actual site.

The blog with the commercials.

And a couple of samples below.

Behold the ToddCam

That's right, a buddy of mine has set up an internet cam for his work area in the garage.

I think. When I checked this morning it was pointed at the snow in his backyard.

Anyway, I have yet to actually make a Todd sighting, but I have seen the garage door open and shut a couple of times. So I know he's not dead.

Backpacking the Bend

I took a backpacking trip to Big Bend over the weekend. Like a moron, I forgot my camera, so here's a few shots I found on Google Images.

I went with buddies Jeremy and Clark. We left Thursday night. We were planning on getting a hotel room close to the park and starting off on a two-night trek the next day.

• Travel tip: Book your motel room in West Texas about six months in advance. $3-gallon-gasoline has set off another oil boom in the Permian Basin and trans-Pecos area, and every freakin' hotel was filled with workers. The parking lots are filled with work trucks. The lobbies are filled with surly clerks who don't even bother answering the phone after 2 a.m.

There were no rooms in Odessa or Monahans. We finally gave up at about 3:30 a.m. and found a dark place to park the car at a Fort Stockton truck stop. After six hours of using my luggage as a pillow, we stiffly drove to IHOP for breakfast and made our way to Big Bend.

And there's not too much to tell after that. Clark fell ill. Me and Jeremy could only wonder at the toughness it took for him to climb about 1,600 feet with 40 pounds on his back, but once there, and after a night of rest that didn't cure him, there wasn't much else we could do. We walked back out and went home after one night.

Still, it was enough to at least remind me of why I take these trips when I can -- walking up into the Chisos Mountains, taking in the smell of dust, sage, pine and heat-blasted rock, and pushing into one of the most remote places in the United States.

The downside would be learning how out-of-shape you are. Really, when we realized that we'd have to leave early, the main thing that came to my mind was that I was already tired, sore and filthy and wouldn't mind a shower all that much. My calves are still screaming in pain.

Washington Post on dumb women

The column I posted about below has raised the danders of many.

The Washington Post editor apparently explained it today as being tongue-in-cheek and to be taken as a joke. (Via Politico.)

Pomfret said that being an opinion article, he’s not surprised readers reacted to it strongly. But added: “Perhaps it wasn’t packaged well enough to make it clear that it was tongue-in-cheek.”
Even if intended as a joke, the Allen piece clearly isn't the best way for the Post to
achieve its goal of bringing in more women readers, and it remains to be seen if the fallout continues today.
“It’s not the first time in opinion journalism that something has fallen flat,” Pomfret said.

I dunno. I thought it was tongue-in-cheek, my wife thought it was satire -- bad satire. I guess I'm happy I'm not someone who could read something like that and think someone -- at the Post, for crying out loud -- was making a serious argument as to the inferiority of women, thereby getting my own dander up.

Of women and The Cougar

Wow.

Writer Charlotte Allen (not familiar with) pens a scathing column in the Washington Post on the stupidity of women.

No man could write something like this and expect to keep his job as Harvard University president:

What is it about us women? Why do we always fall for the hysterical, the superficial and the gooily sentimental? Take a look at the New York Times bestseller list. At the top of the paperback nonfiction chart and pitched to an exclusively female readership is Elizabeth Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love." Here's the book's autobiographical plot: Gilbert gets bored with her perfectly okay husband, so she has an affair behind his back. Then, when that doesn't pan out, she goes to Italy and gains 23 pounds forking pasta so she has to buy a whole new wardrobe, goes to India to meditate (that's the snooze part), and finally, at an Indonesian beach, finds fulfillment by -- get this -- picking up a Latin lover!

Even worse, she takes down Grey's Anatomy.

I think I speak for all married men when I say, "Of course I don't think women are dumber than men. Honey?"

Tho the column was funny to read. Allen briefly touches on the stupidity in men, namely the naturally induced stupidity, which has a reasonable source, and the "catastrophic stupidity."

That's the balancing part that allowed the piece to get by editors, I assume.

Most men are aware of their potential catastrophic stupidity. Most men -- except maybe the ever-so-earnest president of the coolest frat on campus back when you were in college.

...

Driving back from Big Bend Saturday on Interstate 20, I couldn't help but think of one of my episodes of catastrophic stupidity, which I now call The Cougar Incident.

With apologies to those who were expecting something completely different.

In 1999, the car I had was totalled after a collision with a drunk (uninsured, of course).

I was in some decent money at the time. So I went to the car lot, checked out some of the used vehicles, and ended up in the new section staring at the just-redesigned cougars. Love was in the air.

The stupidity reached its zenith about a year later: I was in my red, V-6 Cougar on I-20, going about 100 mph. I had no radar detector, but I did have about 10 cars following in my wake. It was dark, and I wasn't driving with my headlights so much as using the force. Every 10 minutes the pressure would get to me and I'd slow down to 90 and scream "AAAAAHHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Then I'd push it back to 100. I once made the Dallas-to-Lubbock run in four hours.

After one year of ownership, I had three speeding tickets and a monthly insurance bill of $225.

I loaned the car to a guy who had some issues with medicines* of questionable legality, and in one day he managed to fire off the air bag and crack the windshield -- $2,000 of damage that I had to pay for.

I fought like a moron to hold on to that car, but I finally had to sell. By the time I handed the keys over, I was commuting from Hico to my job in Abilene because free was the only place I could afford. Didn't get completely out of debt until I got married.

Oh, the stupidity.

God I miss that car.

UPDATE: My wife, who is not terribly fond of the Post piece, says that the entire thing is satire, written so as to fold in on itself and eliminate its reason for being written. I'm thinking it's more tongue-in-cheek grousing that doesn't have to follow its own logic. We also had a strong disagreement on "zenith" vs. "nadir", which I lost. That is all.

*Tip: Don't do that.