The strange part was the request: "Get something that’s appropriate to give to a man."
Uh-huh. I remember receiving one sympathy card in my life. It was from a girl I was dating, and my primary thought on opening it was, "If I don’t show the right amount of thankfulness, she’s going to be real ticked off."
So at Kroger, I picked out the plainest cards with the plainest font and the plainest phrase – "With sympathy." After I bought them, I realized that I hadn’t read what was on the inside. I spent more time picking out the macaroni.
Meredith was happy with them. Huh.
So what would be an appropriate sympathy card for a guy to send to another guy?
- The cover: "Dude!" Inside: "Man, dude."
- The cover: Picture of Barney. Inside: "I like you, you like me, sorry ‘bout the death in your family."
- The cover: Jessica Alba in a bikini. Inside: Jessica Alba in a bikini.
Actually, someone could make a killing here, so long as they sold the cards in bars. Seriously, the Postal Service would have to open new branches to keep up with thousands of notes, all reeking of beer and peanuts:
Dude:
You rock. You really rock out. The house. I love you. I love you because you so rock. Out. Dude. Forget about that girl, you’re way better than that angry wench, man. I don’t wanna hear you whining that whine about "Wah! I’m so sad! Mommy!" Dude, you’ll get over it. Because YOU ROCK DA HOUSE.
We love you.
Your dudes
*I get the feeling this has been done before, but what the hell.
1 comment:
Your wife probably thought that you might spend some time reading the cards to make sure they were OK (not too treacly or covered in flowers) for a guy. Perhaps your not reading them is part of being man-appropriate because a guy wouldn't really look at them anyway? Is that what you are saying? Your wife is probably mortified to learn that the cards she had her entire office sign may not indeed be man-appropriate. Then again, maybe she is just amused by the situation and grateful that you picked up the cards. :)
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