A longer lookback at 'Stripes'

From Stripes:

"Have you seen the people enlisting in the Army? They're just like us!"

"Yeah, except they aren't as OLD as us."

***

Meredith's parents came to watch Sam last night, giving us a chance to go on a date. We had expensive Thai food, walked around downtown for a bit, stopped by the Barnes and Noble, and had expensive deserts on the roof of a downtown restaurant. Then we came home and watched Stripes. Great times. I hope this becomes a pre-assignment tradition, even though I stayed up way past my bedtime.

***

Netflix sent us an extended version of Stripes, which I did not know existed. Most of the extended scenes are boring -- exposition explaining why what happened next happened. But you already know what happened, and you don't really care about the logic behind it.

There is one cut scene, however, that is just bizarre beyond belief. I imagine they came up with it when they were first writing the movie as it was originally envisioned: Cheech and Chong Join the Army. I'm not kidding. Worth checking out if you're a fan.

***

I don't begrudge Fort Worth getting all dressed up for TCU's big moment in the sun today. Sky scrapers are lit up with purple lights, the local media is exhorting people to go to the ESPN Gameday show because "it's important," etc. Good for them. They've got a good team this year and it still gravels them that they aren't in the Big 12.

Still, maybe because it's a private school, maybe because Fort Worth is part of a metroplex that usually finds better things to do, but a lot of the enthusiasm seems faked to me. Just saying.

***

Hmmm ... Chili sounds really good right now.

Mmmmm ... donut explosion

"You got a lot to learn yet, Millie. I don't want it on my conscience that I was the one taught you."

-- From Elmer Kelton's Llano River

***

I stopped by Shipley's Do-nuts this morning, part of farewell tour of unhealthy food I'm taking before shipping out. Meredith and me are going on a date Friday, and I've been debating what and where we would eat. I'm tempted by chicken fried steak, but I'll save that for after training. Chicken fried steak is for coming home to, not leaving.

***

Ever notice how all the old, semi-successful donut chain shops were all built in the '60s and '70s? Otherwise, why all the faded browns and oranges and fiberglass? This had me wondering this morning. What happened in the 60s and 70s to cause such a large amount of donut shop construction? Was there a donut explosion of demand? Some kind of new technology? And why did it end, more or less?

***

My to-do list is shorter, but still intimidating.

***

A lot of that music on the boy's kiddie CDs is starting to sound good.

Ever-So-Much-More-So

I was thinking my eyes would be popping open at 4:30 a.m. by now. I was wrong.

***

Life, before you leave to start on something new, takes on a condensed, ultra-concentrated kind of feel. It reminds me of a story I randomly read back in elementary, called "Ever So Much More So."

It's funny what stays with you. I trolled for information on the story this morning ... and, aha ... The Wikipedia entry for the Homer Price* stories:

"Flim-flam merchants and larger-than-life paraphernalia appear in several stories. One features a snake-oil salesman — Professor Atmos P. H. Ear — offloading an odorless, colorless, tasteless chemical called 'Ever-So-Much-More-So' that when sprinkled on things, supposedly enhances everything; a soft bed would become softer, a fast car becomes faster, and so on."

In elementary, it seemed that every year we watched a film about a donut machine that wouldn't stop making donuts, and all hell breaks loose after a woman claims her diamond bracelet fell into the batter. The stories are from the same root. That's something I'll have to check out when I get back. Sam's getting to an age where I'll be able to read any children's story to him with impunity.

***

I bought a book yesterday, a time-killing tool for the traveling and registration period before training actually begins. (This normally takes about four days, but I've been told that it can take weeks.)

So I went to Half-Price books and moseyed over to the fiction section. I didn't really know what I wanted, only what I didn't want:

• No westerns. (I'm reading one right now.)
• No war novels, any time period. (I don't need to read about guts and glory -- things will go much better if I stay focused on the practical.)
• No fantasy or sci-fi. (See above.)

Considering how the above list constitutes 95 percent of my normal reading material, picking out a book was not easy. I eventually ambled over into history, where I had to deal with the fact that everyone in my platoon (squad, whatever) will know what I'm reading, and God knows what cultural background baggage they're bringing with them. So, no books on tribal Africa, stay away from Samurai histories and don't even look at the Middle East section.

So I shuffled back into fiction and eventually picked out a novel by the same guy who wrote Watership Down, one of the better books I've read in the last five years. The story is called Plague Dogs and has a picture of two canines on the cover. That'll do.

Gold Bond, for all your naughty bits

Funny how I only thought of Gold Bond Powder as a product for the feet, when I thought about it at all. I've just learned that it's also good for your nether regions. The Army is going to give me a hell of an education.

***

Favorite line from the Elmer Kelton novel Barbed Wire:

"But nothing ever graveled Monahan quite so much as to have someone sitting around idly on his fat haunches, watching him work."

Yep. "Graveled" as a verb. Awesome.

***

I imagine that those of you who are interested in this sort of thing have already seen it, but just in case you haven't: The Denver Post had a photographer follow a soldier around, from high school graduation, to his basic training, to his deployment, to his return home. It's a pretty amazing body of work, and they don't shy from some of the rougher aspects of this guy's journey. I suppose it's a good example of what I'm in for, only without the Jerry Springer aspects of a personal life.

It'd be great to have an 18-year-old's body, but not at the cost of 19 more years of experience.

***

I'm happy that I'm no longer treading water in a journalism career. Still, some things are disconcerting -- like the Abilene Reporter-News web site. It used to have personality -- tons of local art and a notable presence of the local staff members. Now it looks like one of those web sites you land on after making a typo in the address bar. (Eh... After taking a second look at it maybe I'm being a little harsh, they do have local art. Still, the overall look is pretty sterile.)

***

It's better to run three to four miles every day than six miles every other day, I've decided. It's also better to keep to your rule about no more nachos.

***

And yes, I am looking forward to the next episode of "V."

There's some weird stuff on the radio at 5 a.m., Saturday

Reading the coverage this morning of my high school's loss to city rival Lubbock Coronado (21-20, another game in which placekicking was paramount), I was reminded of this conversation with my Army recruiter when he set up my military account.

Recruiter: OK, it's going to ask a series of security questions ... What was your high school mascot?

Me: The Plainsmen.

Recruiter: ... The What?

Me: The Plainsmen. Men of the plains?

Recruiter: Were the Plainsmen especially tough people or something?

Me: If you'd been to Lubbock, it'd make sense.

Recruiter: ... OK, let's go with another question.

***

Come to think of it, our mascot was always dressed in a blue buckskin, which didn't make a lot of sense. Every fur trapper all over the West wore buckskin. You'd be better off going with the pioneer outfit of a flat-brimmed hat, white shirt and suspenders. Those were the people who stayed.

***

The Springtown mascot is the porcupine.

***

Yep, Tech doesn't have a game this Saturday and I'm definitely jonesing. Ah well, I can get stuff done, I guess.

***

Getting up early is good, but the time does fly in the morning. My alarm went off at 4:30. All I did was stop by the bathroom and then go outside to fetch the newspaper. That somehow burned 25 minutes. And it's 6:02 a.m. before I'm done here. Sheesh. Need to get to work.

Shooting at Fort Hood

Fort Hood is my top pick for a post spot once I'm done with all my preliminary training. I'd get to raise my kid in Texas, and in one of my favorite parts of Texas. The small country road in front of our farm in Hico goes in a straight line to Hood's north gate.

I don't confuse myself (yet) with someone who actually is a soldier. I spent yesterday sending prayers to the victims and families, and feeling anger at the shooter. There was a new feeling -- worry about how my wife would take it, worry that my family could become potential targets -- even though I know it's not reasonable.

Last night, I spent some time in a couple of online chats for new recruits, and the incident was barely mentioned in either. That's the point, I guess -- things just keep going.

SyFy is a dumb spelling for network that caters to geeks

When I boot up the computer every morning, it'll fool me for a bit by working quickly. I know better.

***

A few more thoughts on V.

I've read a few articles that talk about how "V" is taking aim at the Obama administration. The aliens offer "health care." People give them slavish devotion without knowing their goals. The people opposing them are debunked as weird people on the fringe.

Meh. In the end it's a show about lizards in spaceships that want to eat us. To the lengths that a popular TV show will pick up on the zeitgeist and incorporate it is all to the good, so long as it doesn't come across as preaching.

I didn't even think about it until I read later how Battlestar Gallactica used the first part of season three to argue that suicide bombers have a point. And after I knew, I didn't care. It's entertainment. The viewer gets to decide what lessons he takes from the experience, not the creators.

***

To go in the opposite direction (and yet, not really), I chose Elmer Kelton's two novel compilation, Brush Country, as the last book to read before going to basic training. Kelton lived in San Angelo and wrote about the area and history he knew. And he usually comes up with something historically interesting, even if his stories tend to be straightforward.

For example, in the novel "Barbed Wire," you learn that the fencing of the prairie was actually a good thing. I remember all these romanticized tales about how the fencing of the prairie was a tragedy and a loss of freedom. Actually, more of the opposite.

Anyway, I just wanted a reminder of the people I grew up with before heading out.

***

I have dreams about my Grandma's old house in Oak Cliff at least once a month. Always comforting and kind of sad at the same time.

Put blog post title here

No Facebook, I don't want to nag my friend about his lack of a profile picture. Nor do I want to jump all over another buddy for only having 12 friends -- she lives in England for Pete's sakes.

Mind your own %$#@!@#$%^&*-damn business.

***

The thing about going to bed early and getting up early is that it's easier to get up early than to get to bed early, in the long run.

Last night, the lights were out at 10 p.m., thirty minutes later than they should have been and only because I shrugged off some chores that needed doing. It was still the earliest I'd managed to get to bed. I collapsed in a three-hour nap yesterday because I was tired of being brain dead. At one point I tried to put milk into the pantry.

***

Some thoughts on "V."

• Fun, but ...
• They couldn't update the whole lizards-in-human-clothing thing?
• Alan Tudyk! (Plano native who played Hoban on "Firefly", though he's probably better known as the guy who talked like a pirate in "Dodgeball.")
• All the main characters are handsome, 30-something cardboard cutouts. After watching, all I can tell you about is FBI-agent woman, Priest, surly teen, concerned African-American, etc. After watching Battlestar Gallactica once, I would tell you about Freakin' Commander Adama.
• Morena Baccarin! (Why is it that the two Firefly cast members are playing lizards?)
• "Devotion" is the greatest weapon of all? Oh, come on. It might be Love, or a planet explodin' laser beam, but it ain't "devotion."
  

***

So. After keeping this blog inactive for months, I finally checked out the visitor counter yesterday. Discovered that last Thursday, before I started this thing up again, I had one of my biggest traffic days ever -- 60 people.

The weird thing -- 40 of those people picked that day to search the phrase "famous internet stuff." They weren't all from one location and I hadn't noticed anything in the news, but there they were, checking out a random post I did about two years ago, before I could even embed videos.

I hardly remember anything on that post, except for the "My Hands Are Bananas" video. What's a little stranger is Meredith telling me yesterday (before I told her about the visiting spike) that she couldn't stop humming "beware the milky pirate."

Hmmmmmm ...



It's one of those things that isn't funny, just random to the point that it seems funny.

Aggie coach visits antique store, rents sense of humor

I wonder if my nose is doing something weird or if the oatmeal does actually taste funny. But what can go wrong with oatmeal?

***

In the Star-Telegram today, A&M coach Mike Sherman enjoys poking a fresh wound:

... When asked about the impact of playing at altitude this week in Boulder, Colo., ... Sherman suggested it would not be that different from playing in Lubbock (elevation 3,256 feet).

“Lubbock’s a pretty good altitude up there,” Sherman said. “There’s a lot of hot air up there, too. We had to deal with that.”

Well, now. Gather up the torches and pitchforks and clang the dinner bell extra loud.

It's like Mike Leach has been schooled by the old guy at work who last attempted a joke during the Ford administration. A player did a better job of it:

Tackle Micheal Shumard joined the Leach-bashing chorus when asked about Sherman’s decision to take a knee in the final minute of last week’s 35-10 victory over Iowa State.

“That shows class,” Shumard said. “I would hate to be a player for a team that would try and score with … 20 seconds left in the game. That would call time out to try and score.”

I think Leach did that at A&M after the refs took a touchdown away from one of his players, and besides, he takes as good as he gives, but, meh.

This is all and all a good thing: It fires Tech up during their off week, and gives them bulletin board material for next year, so they can remember to show up and play.

***

Buddy of mine recently told me how he's basically gotten too old to enjoy "blaring guitars" in his music anymore. I'm further gone -- I have a hard time listening to anything nowadays that's less than 50 years old. Give me old jazz, give me baroque or classical guitar and I'm happy.

That being said, "Poker Face" has been rattling around in my head for the last few days, after Cartman did it on South Park.



I even got Sam to go around yelling "Ma ma ma ma poker face," at which point Meredith told me it meant something dirty. Ah well, if I didn't get that, I doubt Sam did.

Hmmmm ... This English tea ...

Seems a little stronger than the American type. I still wonder if I'll regret not drinking coffee. By the way, Starbuck's Via Instant Coffee is pretty dang good. Especially so, if you're stumbling around at 4:30 a.m. and don't have the coordination needed to work a coffee machine. Just boil water and go, big guy.

***

It's not regular coffee? You lied to me!



The Star-Telegram reminded me of this today. Watching it for the 1,000th time, I noticed that the fictional location of the shoot was "Shreveport, Louisiana."

***

A) I like my teams to win.
B) I like to see my teams develop.

I don't really get being so angry with a team you're a fan of that you'd just switch off the season. I don't get publicly trashing a player (so long as the player is trying) when he doesn't come through. Maybe it's because I grew up around coaches and athletes. There's too much of the human side I'm aware of.

But mainly, things change. Dudes practice, learn from mistakes. I get tired of reading the fan boards and seeing people who have declared this player or that team beyond redemption.

A) It doesn't make sense.
B) Get over your jilted-lover crush. I'm amazed after reading this stuff that football players aren't the nation's highest per capita victims of stalking.

***

It seemed fun to teach the boy how to say, "Sam de la Barrio!" ... until we were in the middle of Rosa's Cafe and Tortilla Factory.

Ah, who am I kidding? It was still fun.

Going and gone

I've been easing into this look since college.



No matter how much weight you've lost, shaving your head makes you realize you could stand to lose some more.