Ways to tell you're listening to lame country music

– The word "Butt Crack" is used nonironically.
– Singer was briefly married to Rene Zellweger
– He asked Rene Zellweger out, and was slapped down.
– The lyrics reference "Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason"
– He has a ridiculous feud with Natalie Maines
– From the CD's liner notes: "Natalie Maines killed less than eight cats during the recording of this album."
– His name begins with "Garth Brooks’ comeback album."
– It’s another song about how great Texas is, and your radio begins smoking. The smoke then heads directly to your posterior.
– Pan flute
– Garth Brooks on the pan flute.
– You think, "The disco version of this was much better."
– You realize that they didn’t write the song so much as read an old Jerry Springer script.
– I used to like Garth Brooks.
– The entire premise is based on a pun so bad it would get your grandma beaten up at the old folks home.
– You first heard it on the "Today" show.
– You first heard it on CMT.
– It’s on the radio.