Because "Texoma" sounds better than "Oklexas"

I followed a link yesterday to a speech by man named Dmitri Orlov, who's written a book called "Reinventing Collapse." Orlov believes the United States is on the verge of implosion, much like the Soviet Union in the 1990s, and he writes about how America can implode "smarter, not harder."

My reactions:

1. It's not going to happen.
2. If it does happen, I say Texas and Oklahoma combine to make their own country. We already have a lake named after the new nation.

Yes, I realize a great deal of antipathy flows both ways over the Red River. But let's look at the other options:

• Louisiana is like the crazy uncle you invite over for parties, but you don't let him sleep on the couch.
• Arkansas is like the crazy uncle you have four restraining orders against.
• Kansas
• And Texans who get annoyed by Oklahomans simply haven't met enough New Mexicans.

Besides, I've never hated Oklahoma. I think most of the disdain for the Sooners is Austin-based, and most Oklahomans focus their hatred on Austin.

The fact of the matter is that Texans and Oklahomans have a lot more things in common than not, and our economies and culture would mesh pretty well. Texas has the Gulf Ports, Oklahoma has Tulsa. We've both got excellent universities, good natural resources, music, and barbecue.

When I pitched the idea to my wife, we had the following conversation:

Mer: I don't want Oklahoma. I want Colorado.

Me: Pah! Bunch of lazy, Elway-lovin', mountain boys. Besides, it's geographically impossible.

Mer: No it isn't. We just mount an expedition and ...

Me: That's fine, but you still end up with at least part of Oklahoma.

Mer: Fine! I'll take Oklahoma if it means we can have Colorado.

I think the British created Iraq in the same way.