Reasons why I'm officially bored with Facebook

It started as a great way to check in on people I hadn't heard from in years and a more convenient way to keep up with the people I've always kept up with. These are still the primary reasons why I'm not closing my account.

The problem is that the task of finding the info I'm looking for requires me to wade through an ever-expanding mound of sludge that shouldn't exist even in e-space. Specifically, I'm talking about:

• The people who think that the status update is for chronicling any variation of their mood, no matter how inconsequential, i.e., "Charles Krauthammer It's Tuesday, and I still have a case of the Moandays!!! :()" Gee, thanks, that's great to know.
• The people who leave meaningless clues as to what they are doing in an attempt to be clever, i.e., "David Broder is catching the gravy wave."
• How it's high school all over again. You can share that you've been promoted to vice president following your spectacular contribution in the fight against cancer, only to be met with a profound silence from 281 "friends" who have nothing to say. Meanwhile, the hot, rich girl from the dorm gets 87 comments after letting the world know about her dislike of "Moandays."
• Friends who give NASCAR updates. "Jonah Goldberg has finished his second bag of pork rinds in celebration of Junior Earnhardt's awesome left turn."
• The fact that 90 percent of my page this morning has been taken over by other people's quiz results.
• The fact that 90 percent of those quizzes are of the "How well do you know ______?" variety, featuring people I've never heard of.
• How it encourages joining of the meaningless kind. I recall seeing about 50 different "Make Facebook go back to the old design" groups start up after Facebook came out with a new design. The problem was that the new design was better. People just didn't want to spend the five minutes necessary to get used to it. It was easier to complain.
• Which leads to my problem about the predominance of the group "We will not pay for Facebook, eveh." This kind of attitude is the reason newspapers are dying. Honestly, I'd be happy to fork over $1 a month if it meant Facebook could come up with some kind of kick-ass program that could block people from posting quiz results. But we know the attitude of the Internet. As soon as they charge a fee -- no matter how reasonable -- everyone will flee to the latest cheap version of Facebook. Or, God forbid, go back to MySpace.
• It's become cliche. Every newspaper and blog out there has put together some kind of wacky piece featuring a theoretical group of world leaders gossiping on Facebook. These invariably feature Kim Jong-Il -- a man who's starved thousands of his people and now has the bomb -- posting on his dislike of "Moandays! :p"

The pink boxer shorts dude

The Star-Telegram features him, Army Spc. Zachery Boyd, today. Some cool things about him, at least from my point of view:

• He went to a high school in my residential district.


• The shirt he's wearing is from Wooley's Frozen Custard, a shop within walking distance from our house. We're about to head there for our Memorial Day treat.


• He was planning on going to Texas Tech ROTC but decided to enlist first.

Let's hope he continues on to Texas Tech. God knows he'd fit right in.

At rest

You know, it used to make sense when my son was about 20 inches long and chose to sleep against the headboard -- he wanted to feel like he was sleeping against something. Now I'm beginning to wonder if he's ever going to try sleeping straight.

Personal countdown list ...

10 minutes before Sam finishes his nap.

1 hour, 47 minutes before Meredith makes her daily call home.

1 week, 1 day before I start taking precalculus.

3 months before my third wedding anniversary. I think. I guess I should check that.

3 months, 7 days before the next school year starts, whether or not I have a job.

108 days before the start of Texas Tech’s football season. (Had to use days here because that’s how it’s listed at DoubleTNation.com.)

4 months, 7 days before Sam’s second birthday.

7 months before we drive to Lubbock for Christmas. I haven’t been home for the holidays in four years.

11 months before the upcoming school year is over, and I’m fully certified as a teacher. Unless I’m not.

2 years, 3 months, 7 days before Sam’s fourth birthday – the age when he’ll be ready for his first father-son trip to Hico.

2 years, 7 months before I’m 40. Hmmmm... some kind of party is in order. I totally blew off birthday number 30.

42 years, 7 months before I’m 80, when I’ll probably be too old to make the trip to Mars. Here’s hoping we have that off the ground before then. Or at least the moon. I mean, sheesh, we used to talk like this stuff would happen any day now.

Fort Worth Botanical Garden

I've got a lot of things I want to get to this week, so I'll start off with the subject most in-demand from my parents and wife: A photo-intense blog on Sam.

Last week was a long one. It started on Sunday with a bath for the boy, and a flea jumped off of him right as I was putting Sam in the tub.

"Oh crap," I wondered.

Sure enough, the evil cat turned out to be infested, and we had to call in the exterminator. Meredith's doctor advised that she not be in the house for a couple of days after the spraying, so, considering our options, we ended up in a run-down Budget Suites hotel room. The carpet was blue, we think.

Strangely, one day in a cheap hotel room can be kind of boring, so we decided to make an excursion to the botanical gardens on Wednesday morning. And I'll just go mainly with pictures after this. (As a warning, we do have plenty.)

This was really the first time Sam's had a chance to run wild. He was so tired we had to put him to bed an hour early.

Meredith attempts to teach Sam facial expressions, a tough job for someone dealing with the men of my family.

The log was occupied by two kids about Sam's age. He walked up and started jabbering with one of them. First time I'd seen that.

And we took this a few weeks ago, but I liked it, so I just thought I'd put it here.

She's got names like the Octomom's got kids

The funniest part of the "Woman arrested at Dirk Nowitzki's house" story was this:

Her past aliases included Chrystal Ann Taylor, Crystal Ann Taylor, Debra Johnson, Shana Mancini, Krista Santiago, Crystal Ann Santiago, Cristal Westerhaus and Crista A. Westerhays, booking records show, according to Channel 5.

Notice the verbiage - Her past aliases included ...

Because they're not sure just how many names she used. She must have picked a name the way some women choose shoes for the evening.

Meanwhile, it can't be reassuring to Dirk to realize that he has the same taste in woman as John Daly.