Columnist writes something even dumber than his moustache

To explain for the folks who haven't been paying attention, which will include just about everyone except maybe Coddlemeyer:

In a Tech/Oklahoma basketball game a couple of weeks ago, a double-named forward, Longar Longar, elbowed a Tech player in the face, breaking his eye socket and ending his season. Longar Longar was suspended for two games.

Mike Jones, sports columnist for the Star-Telegram, wrote a column today about this injustice. Longar Longar got hosed, he said.

What, if anything, would have transpired had Longar's elbow whiffed? If he had not made contact and no injury had transpired? If the 6-foot-11 forward had been closely guarded by a 5-10 guard and his elbows sailed over his head? If players from Baylor and Kansas State had been involved?
And of course, what if Kelvin Sampson were still the coach at OU, considering the bad blood between him and Tech coach Bob Knight? That could have really been ugly.
I've taken a look at the replay of the incident several times, as have a lot of other people. The reactions I've seen tend to land on the side of happenstance, that this was just one of those unfortunate things that sometimes happens.

Yes. What if the elbow had missed? Then nothing would have happened.

Also, what if you're so drunk you can't speak English and you drive home and don't get caught? Nothing happens.

Also, what if you're drunk and you climb on a ledge two-stories high and go into the swan position from the "Karate Kid" and manage not to fall? (I did some stupid things in college, ho boy.) Nothing happens.

However, IF you fall off and kill yourself or IF you happen to drive through grandma's front door and plow right through grandpa and the evil cat, what happens? No one is going to take "I didn't mean to do it" as an excuse, you can be damn sure.

Laws dealing with public safety don't give a crap about intent. They are written to keep people from doing stupid things.

The same thing goes with sports rules. It's fine to use a manuever to clear out nearby players, it's not so OK to lead with your elbow at face level. This is because you can seriously hurt people with this move if you do it over and over. Hence, it's big-time illegal to do it. At all. Whether you meant it or not.

* The reference to the moustache in the headline comes from Jones' picture that sadly, doesn't accompany the web version of the column. Let's just say such facial hair would get him beaten up on the set of "Deadwood."