MySpace don't feel like home

My wife’s sister recently put up a page on MySpace (No, I’m damn well not putting up a link) and this has led to some interesting conversations. First my wife talked about snooping around the site, looking for old friends and the like.

She has since suggested that we set up a page so that we can receive all the glorious benefits. Uh-huh.

I really don’t know much about MySpace. I had heard that no one over 30 can have both an active MySpace page and any real amount of self respect. For the hell of it, I checked out MySpace late Thursday night. Mainly I searched for Monterey High School and found ... Garbage. Complete stinkin’ garbage.

Picture after picture of young girls on line for "friends" yet always posing in pictures with a sultry look. (I’m not sure what sultry means, mainly the word I was looking for was "cleavage.")

The boys were worse. Posing in obviously nerdy pictures or with their shirts off and flexing.
Everybody was so desperately trying to convey an image that you immediately knew it was false.

And do you have to put "LOL!" after every stinking sentence? Sweetheart, we know you’re happy from the way every statement ends with an exclamation point and the generally giddy interpretation of a car ride with your BFF to go shopping. Also, there’s a picture of you taking a colored drink shot with your most attractive friends. Really, I get it that you’re making an attempt at a joke here. ;)

Meanwhile, I couldn’t find anyone my age that I went to high school with. Well, almost no one. I found one dude I don’t remember. In his picture, he was wearing a freakin’ suit of armor. He included a video from a Society of Creative Anachronism fight, as if it’ll actually get people to join.

Later, I found one guy I could remember, around page 33 of the search. He seemed to be OK, talked about how weird he was but was kept in line by his wife, etc. On the good side, if the picture he posted is accurate, he’s lost a lot of weight since high school, so that’s a good thing.

Also found a girl, whose name I remembered but didn’t know why. Turned out she was a former Miss Lubbock, and that’s why I had vague recollection. Also explains why she would have a MySpace page.

There were some other people my age, but I gave up about halfway through the results. Couldn’t recognize anyone. Sheesh, everyone has changed so much, it was pretty pointless. I’d need a year book and first and last names.

I don’t know. I suppose from high school there’s maybe 10 people I’m curious about. I get the feeling that they sure as hell aren’t posting there, next to the 19-year-old girl who loves "trying new things when I'm wasted, lol!!!"