Thursday, April 03, 2008

From Hell -- what makes a truly awful film

A guardian critic reviews the latest Paris Hilton film.

Actually, he doesn't review the film. Why bother, when you can instead write a lengthy meditation on some of the worst garbage Hollywood and other filmmakers have produced throughout the decades?
"A generically appalling film like The Hottie and the Nottie is a scab that looks revolting while it is freshly coagulated; but once it festers, hardens and falls off the skin, it leaves no scar. By contrast, a truly bad movie, a bad movie for the ages, a bad movie made on an epic, lavish scale, is the cultural equivalent of leprosy: you can't stand looking at it, but at the same time you can't take your eyes off it. You are horrified by it, repelled by it, yet you are simultaneously mesmerised by its enticing hideousness. A monstrously bad movie is like the Medusa: those who gaze on its hideous countenance are doomed, but who can resist taking a gander?"

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

So, wonder boy, did the critic offer a list of these train wreck movies? Americans love lists. Perhaps our British counterparts are more highly evolved and don't care for them.

Seagraves said...

No list. He mentions a few of the really horrible and then names "Heaven's Gate" as the worst ever. I dunno, the only one I've seen is "Ishtar", and like he says, it had a few decent parts.

Yeah, I'm kinda tired of lists, as the MSN homepage offers one every day. And it's become a guessing game to see how many times they can do "10 ways to piss off the other person in your relationship."

Wonder boy?

Anonymous said...

As in "Wonder what he's doing for the rest of his life." Aren't I sweet?