I only think about this football season on days that end in "Y"

Tech loses focus, game 38-21

Miami loses, again
Cowboys beaten to death by Eagles

United Supermarkets falls to Dave's Texaco

Folks:

I have an awkward announcement to make. Me and this football season are breaking things off.

She has broken my heart one too many times. I'm left picking up the many, many pieces of what's left my dignity. Don't get me wrong. We're both good people, but sometimes the mix, like a sophomore quarterback and his attention span, just can't hold together.

Here are the rules I'll be living with for the time being:

• I will no longer initiate contact with this football season. If this football season wants to send me an e-mail from time to time, fine. It's better if she writes about how life is sucking.
• I will accept no 3:30 a.m., Wednesday night phone calls from this football season. We both know it'll be incoherent blubbering for an hour, and the next day this football season will act like nothing happened. No more.
• Absolutely no booty calls. Unless it's bowl time and I'm really, really lonely.

I wish this football season the best of luck, but we'll just have to be strong.

Now, excuse me, I'm going to my room. I'll be in my bed, pillow over my head, listening to the Texas Tech fight song over and over and over.

Fight Raiders fight,

Fight Raiders fight,

Fight for the school we love so dearly.

Sigh.