Feeling numb

It's a huge sign of vanity to take a national tragedy and obsess over how it makes you feel, so I'll keep this short.

Me and my wife didn't talk about Virginia Tech until about a day had passed. This is partly due to us being away from the news for most of the day it happened.

Since I've found out about it, the only thing I've really paid any attention to is just who this whacked-out jackass was. Maybe because it's good to remind myself who to look out for, maybe it's just morbid fascination.

(First question: How does a guy with two pistols take out 30 people? That just doesn't make sense.)

I did listen to the memorial service, mainly out of a feeling of obligation.

My main reaction so far has just been numbness. Maybe it's because of the "Columbine: Part II" reaction people are having. Maybe it's seeing numbers like "60" and "50" coming out of Iraq or that it's hard for anything to have a huge emotional impact after 9/11.

Maybe it's the way that pundits on both sides started pontificating on this about two seconds after the first story came through.

The biggest frustration is seeing this happen and knowing there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I suppose I could do the usual "write your congressman" type stuff that has more to do with making me feel better than having any real affect.

But it doesn't really matter. I wish I could do more. I can't. I'll pray for the victims and hope their families can do some good in the memory of those who died.

And wish there's something else that I could do before moving on. But I doubt it.