Watchmen's drawer

I have no plans to see "Watchmen" at the multiplex. It's definitely a Netflix kind of experience for me, albeit one where I'm not scanning the catalog in hopes that it pops up.

To me, the most interesting thing going on here is the guy who drew the comic in the first place.

This guy. Alan Moore.

Yeah. You look at him and you think deranged hermit. And yet.

He can't stop himself from noting that he's put a curse on the movie and that he hates Hollywood and the media. And yet he keeps on showing up for interviews and finding ways to get his quotes in the paper.

He kind of reminds me of Kurt Cobain, always muttering against the corporate media, yet constantly calling MTV to play his videos more often.

I find it kind of fascinating, when people choose an image of disfunction in order to make their business function better. And if you don't believe me, check the hair. Do you have any idea how much time he has to spend every day getting that hair into some kind of functional state? He must have a drawerful of combs and high-pressure water sprayers just for his beard. I bet his bathroom has five different work stations.

The truly disturbed would just chop the thing off and be done with it.

Anyway, I have never been gaga for comic books. The promotional blitz and fanboy reaction for "Watchmen" had me puzzling over the possible reasons why. Comic book fans tend to be aggressive about their love for the graphic novel. Lord knows I've heard a lot about art, theme, style and impact. I've also heard the word "awesome" too many times to count.

I tend to be able to at least appreciate and enjoy some aspects of other people's passions, but comic books? Eh.

Why I'm not into comics. No, it's fine if you are. It's just not my bag. Don't hate.
When I was 10 and first gave the serious comic books a look, I remembered being off put by the violence. And most of the stories just followed a color-by-numbers plot:

1. Show Peter Parker at home relaxing with scantily clad wife.
2. Show villain killing somebody while giving a speech that smells like B.S. even to an eight year old.
3. Alert Peter Parker, who shows his concern with an "OH NO!" expression.
4. Change into suit.
5. Zip around. Somehow cause civilians to question your worth/good intentions.
6. Find villain.
7. Hear another speech from villain that even politicians would find meaningless.
8. Kill/chase off villain.
9. Parker appears back at home, looking somewhat fatigued. The end.

Today, what bugs me about the comics is just the non-sequitor to reality they require us to make. They introduce you to a tough, grity, urban setting with drug dealers, prostitutes, mobsters, etc. OK, I can believe that there are some pretty mean places out there.

But then, you're expected to believe that some buff dude in a skintight, flamboyantly colored outfit would show up and beat the crap out of everybody. That just doesn't follow for me.

My wife, who is somehow more into comics than I am, tells me "Watchmen" is a great story and deserves the recognition, and that "a great story is a great story, no matter the format." This made me think, for some reason, of Huckleberry Finn told through '50s beat poetry.

Curse the thought, but maybe my wife isn't right on this one.