Celebrities I have known

Working for any newspaper, you have the chance to meet famous people, usually as they run through on the dinner circuit or a book tour or whatever.

Don't know why this was on my mind today, but I was trying to mentally put together a list of the celebrities I've had a chance to talk to. It's far from impressive -- I never covered entertainment and otherwise didn't seek these assignments out. I've also deleted the marginally famous through my own forgetfulness. But here's what I got:

Julia Child: Yep, the first celebrity I ever interviewed. She was old, tall and energetic. She remains one of my favorites because she was very personable and friendly, while making no bones about the fact that she was sick to death of the book tour business. She was in a Coppell store for the release of her last cookbook. She stopped signing autographs when I asked her if she got bored doing it. She looked at me, and -- sounding just like Julia Child -- said, "Yes, it does become somewhat tiring to you ..." and then went on a five-minute spiel about how she'd rather be doing something else. Her aide chased me out of the store.

Mary Lou Retton: Remember her for two things -- Mary Lou's cuteness, and the other reporters being idiots. She was speaking for some kind of help the sick child thing, and the organizers had set up a session with the media beforehand. I never have been impressed with the looks of olympic-level female gymnasts. The overdeveloped muscles and the stunted development of everything else makes them look like the toughest Oompah-Loompahs on the block. But she came in and was quite the tiny little hottie. She also displayed a great deal of patience. One cameraman picked up his cell phone and starting bitching out somebody for making him cover "this stupid fu-- event," midway during the interview. Another guy was so enamored with Mary Lou that his questions made everyone else cringe. It was straight off the old SNL Chris Farley Show. "Do you remember all those medals you won in 1984? How many did you win? Was that awesome?" And on and on and on ...

Barbara Bush (The elder): Never got to talk to her, but have been forced to cover three dinners where she's been the featured speaker. The routine is that the reporters at the event are given extremely stern warnings to not approach Barbs. They are usually seated in the back corner of the room, and then have to attempt to come up with a story while the Former First Lady goes through her schtick -- 15 minutes of making fun of her husband, five minutes of blathering universal platitudes about whatever charity that's hired her to speak.

Gov. Rick Perry: Doesn't like reporters.

Tom Landry: He was at the dedication for "Tom Landry Elementary*" in Irving. (Or Valley Ranch. It doesn't matter.) This is about as close to hero worship I've ever got. I don't remember what I asked, I don't remember what he answered. Mainly I just remember the look on his face: The ceremony had included an elementary-age show choir dancing to some P.C. nightmare of a school song about how we all love each other even though we're different. Five different school administrators thanked about 187 people that "Really followed Tom Landry's example." And, me interviewing him. I could not get any coherent questions to come out of my mouth. His expression -- Tom Landry stood there, smiling, obviously thinking this was all rather foolish, but, being Tom Landry, never saying so.

* "King of the Hill" later came out with Tom Landry Middle School and also made several references to "Cow Bingo", another thing I wrote about. To this day I believe Mike Judge was reading my stuff. I don't have a lot of things to believe in, so don't spoil it for me.