Missing the milk pirate's boat

I haven’t been connected to much of anything since I made the move Hico.
It's weird. Since coming back, and thanks to the fact that most of the people I now work with speak English, I keep hearing references to things that have been in the public mind for some time, but which were flying high over my balding head.
I used to take pride that I could miss entire pop cultural movements. Still.
Here's a smattering of some of the stuff I'm just catching up on:

• The “Bananas for my hands” video. Not really funny, but strange enough to stick in people’s heads. Apparently there’s a whole movement here. I’ve heard people repeating the phrase “Circle is square, square is circle.” And I’ve seen references to the Milk Pirate. Starkly unoriginal, but it is catchy.
• The fact that the most current non-cursing nickname for male genitalia is “Junk.”
• The “Dick in a Box” video on Saturday Night Live. Fairly self-explanatory. Spawned the …
• “Box in a Box” video. Which, besides being anatomically questionable, isn’t really that funny. The video on YouTube shows a girl whose only talent is to have her cleavage photographed in black and white. Turns out she lip-synched, as she explained while she was on Keith Olberman, who I hate.

All I want to do is see "300".